It’s sort of a well-known fact that actual social interaction and speaking with your mouth is moribund if not obsolete. The combined forces of sophisticated hardware and readily available social media platforms means a never-ending stream of solipsistic trivial. Sure, there exists a great deal of individuals and businesses who use Facebook and Twitter to promote their business and brands (or political and social activism), and that’s great! But on the whole, the two very popular social media channels consist solely of cat videos, memes, and selfies.

Facebook gives us the power to unfriend (or unfollow) and block these people, however. Much like the rebel alliance confronting the fusillade of TIE fighters during its assault on the  empire’s death star in Star Wars Episode IV, there are just too many of them.

Compulsive Updating

Each and every day, 50 percent of Facebook’s 500 million log in and 55 million status updates are made. That’s a whole lot of data to mine and sell to advertisers. While it’s very exciting that you decided to sit down for dinner, do we really need a play-by-play of the evening. In what can best be described as the Randy Newman of updates, these compulsive updaters pollute our news feed with minute-by-minute details of their evening out to eat. Consequently, preventing you from seeing important current events, like if one of your friends finally conquered Candy Crush Saga.

Aren’t My Kids The Cutest And Everything They Do Cute

We’re all excited that you just had your first child, hence the reason why we liked and commented on the status that announced it. But we really don’t  need a 24 hour reality tv show into the growth and development of your kid. Call it the 21st century equivalent of the mom/dad who shows everyone at work his/her wallet-sized photos of their kid and every “cute” thing they do. But guess what, overly excited new parents: it’s only always “cute” if you made him/her.

Non-Stop Selfies

Cell phone cameras have certainly come a long way from the early days of flip-phone shots that looked more like stills from the Zapruder film. Nowadays, the majority of smartphones come equipped with high-resolution, multi-frame and direction cameras that rival some professional cameras. Alas, this has given birth to a whole new kind of bastard child better known as the “selfie”. Everyone takes these solo shots and there’s really no shame in it. But when your entire wall consists of nothing other than ten thousand different poorly shot photos of yourself making the same sour lemon face in your car, then maybe it’s time to consider other options in life.

What other annoying stuff do your friends do on Facebook?